“We assume the really serious changes in our lives happens slowly over time, But it’s not true. The big stop happens in an instant. Sometimes you don't even know anything's changed. You think, you are still you and your life is still your life but you wake up one day and look around and becoming an adult, becoming a parent, becoming a doctor, one minute you’re not and the next- you are. Sometimes you don't even know anything's changed. You think, you're still you and your life is still your life but you wake up one day and look around and you don’t recognize anything, not anything at all.”
Change is most likely hard to determine if you are in the midst of the process. Change is inevitable in our life like time itself. Time waits for no one, and we cannot outrun the pendulum of life. Some people have said that change is good but some argued that changes in life are always abominable. I for one doesn’t adhere with the benefits of change. I was a fool for ignoring the auguries of change and there I was, blind sighted and became the victim of my own ignorance.
A week had pass after the effects of the conversation and conclusion. I doubted myself at first if I could really ignore the lingering feelings that would probably make me want to throw myself to someone but it became clearer that most of it is just left over feelings. I’m not happy with this situation nor the way I am mending my heart. Some part of me still wants to keep the feelings that made me happy a lot of times but I really have to move on. I am too ruined not to let go. I am headed for a better direction. I’ll keep our memories in my head not in my heart and I have to get rid these feelings. One-step at a time, I will be okay and I will be far from being fragile.
I hate changes in life and will probably detest it in the future for the sole reason of the inevitable ending of our story. She’s in a better place now and somehow I’m proud of what she became after us. I will be a better person as well. I will create many beautiful things and maybe someday she will be proud of me.
I realize that I’m not good at being single nor being at a committed relationship. I have no choice but to move forward and let the things fall into their places and just let the fate do its freaking job. I am too tired to swim against the current and I’ll just pretend that I’m a dead fish.
“A to Z.” Huh.
It’s all a joke after all. Ignorance will still and always will be bliss for me.
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